Prevention of Separation Anxiety in Puppies

Bringing home a new puppy is an exciting time, but it can also be very stressful, even for experienced owners!

One of the reasons is that when it comes to puppies, everyone seems to have an opinion. The internet is filled with conflicting advice, which often makes it difficult for new puppy guardians to know what the right thing to do actually is when it comes to teaching your puppy to spend time alone.

Do you let your puppy sleep in the bedroom, do you sleep downstairs with them, or will you be “making a rod for your own back”? Is “starting as you mean to go on” and having them in the kitchen overnight the right thing to do? Do you leave them alone from day one, so they get used to it?

Even without a background in dog behaviour, if we think about it, young puppies need their human to be available to meet their basic needs during those early stages of their development. In free ranging dogs, puppies rely on their mum for survival way beyond 8 weeks of age, which is typically when we bring them home - so it is only fair that we respond to their vocalisations and meet their needs (safety, food, water, social contact).

This blog will guide you through the process of introducing and building on alone time to prevent separation anxiety in your puppy. But first, let’s tackle the question everyone actually asks.

So how long can you actually leave a puppy alone?

Let’s tackle this one head on, because it’s the question everyone asks - and the usual answer is nonsense.

You’ve probably read that you can leave a puppy for “an hour per month of age,” or some similar formula. Please forget it. There is no magic number, because it depends entirely on the puppy in front of you. Some puppies panic within minutes. Others settle more easily. A formula can’t tell you which one you’ve got.

Here’s a way to think about it that actually makes sense. Imagine a free-ranging dog somewhere warm, who’s just had a litter. At eight weeks old - the age we typically bring puppies home - there is no way those puppies are being left entirely alone to fend for themselves. But mum does leave them. She has to, to go and find food. The difference is she leaves them when they’re settled, safe and sleeping, and she comes back before they wake up needing her.

That’s your model. In those early weeks, I don’t recommend leaving your puppy “alone” in the way people mean it. But it doesn’t mean you can never nip out. It means you time it. You leave when your puppy is resting and content, and you get back before they wake up, look around, and think, “Oh my god, I’ve been abandoned.”

Because that panic - the waking up alone and frightened - is the thing that does the damage. A young puppy genuinely cannot survive without their mum, and their brain knows it. Being left is a fear-inducing event for them, not a mild inconvenience. So in the beginning, this isn’t about building up minutes. It’s about building something far more important first: a secure attachment, and the deep-down confidence that when they need you, you come back. Get that right, and the alone time comes much more easily later.

Step 1: Let your puppy follow you and build a secure attachment

Before introducing alone time, it’s crucial to let your puppy follow you around and develop what we refer to as a secure attachment. This means allowing the puppy to be by your side as you go about your daily activities. This constant proximity helps your puppy feel safe and secure, building trust and strengthening the bond between you and your pup. Making sure that your puppy’s needs are met is absolutely paramount! Do not let your puppy “cry it out” - they need to know that you will come back and meet their needs.

When I bring a young puppy home, they sleep in the bedroom, or I sleep downstairs with them, and then gradually transition (if appropriate) to either them sleeping downstairs, or me gradually moving back upstairs when they are ready.

Step 2: Gradually introduce short periods of alone time

Once your puppy is confident that their needs will be met, it’s time to gradually introduce alone time. Start with short intervals of going out of sight, while your puppy can still follow you. For example, go and get something from the kitchen, or “make a meal” out of making a cup of tea (go and put the kettle on, return, go and get the mug out of the cupboard, return, and so on).

Begin with just a few seconds and gradually increase the duration as the puppy becomes less inclined to follow you. You may get to make that cup of tea in one go!

This is all without leaving the house, and it’s very important that your puppy is able to follow you, so they know where you are.

This is all about building your puppy’s confidence that you will return before they need you!

Step 3: Create positive associations with alone time

To prevent separation anxiety, it’s important to create positive associations with alone time. Before leaving your puppy alone, provide them with a special treat or a favourite toy. This helps them associate your departure with something positive and enjoyable. Additionally, consider leaving on some background noise, like a radio or a white noise machine - this is not to trick your puppy into thinking you are still home, but to somewhat mask sudden noises from outside that may otherwise startle your puppy.

Step 4: Gradually increase alone time duration

As your puppy becomes more comfortable being alone, gradually increase the duration of their alone time - and when I say gradually, I mean GRADUALLY - think seconds, not minutes. Step outside and come back, walk down to the end of your drive and come back, go and get something out of the car and come back. This way your puppy also gets used to the departure cues (grabbing keys, putting shoes on) without being overwhelmed.

Step 5: Get all the help you can!

Neighbours, friends, and especially anyone working from home could all make wonderful puppy sitters! It can be overwhelming in the first few weeks, so the more “hands on deck” you have, the better!

When you can actually leave them alone to go and get a pint of milk (or a bottle of wine) from the shop will depend entirely on your puppy. As a guideline, I wouldn’t be expecting any serious duration until at least 5-6 months of age.

For every story of a puppy who “has been OK with being left from day one,” there are dozens of dogs who do not cope with being left.

This is one of those cases where prevention is certainly easier than cure, even though it requires a gradual and patient approach. By allowing your puppy to follow you, building a secure attachment, and introducing alone time gradually, you can help them develop confidence and independence. With time, patience, and understanding, you can set your puppy up for success and prevent separation anxiety in their future.

Please note, this is for puppies and dogs that do not already suffer with separation related behaviours. If your puppy or dog is struggling to cope with being left, please seek professional help.